But now? I LOVE July! In 2007 I was married in July. In 2009 I gave birth to my baby in July. This will be a fun month of celebrations – a first birthday and a third anniversary!

Yay for July!

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It’s been a while… There are so many things I want to write about – I actually have a list saved on my Blackberry, and I add to it pretty regularly. So I should be adding some new posts before long…

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Yay! Tax season is over! And has been for a while now (a long while) – it’s taken longer than usual to recover this year… It was really difficult working so many hours with a baby at home. For now I’m back to part-time. I’d like for the “part” part to represent even fewer hours. I have been and will continue to pray for that. When we are able for me to stay home all the time, I hope I will never forget to pray for working moms (those I know and in general). It’s hard: physically it’s exhausting to perform in a job and then come home and try to pack the full-time responsibilities of mom and/or wife into an evening. Emotionally it’s exhausting because the guilt never stops – if I’m being a good employee, it means I’m being a bad mom and/or wife, but if I’m actually focused enough to be the mom/wife I know I should be, it most certainly means my job performance is suffering. Not to complain, just saying it’s a lot for any woman. If you know a working mom, say an extra prayer for her when you get a chance.

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Interesting article: The Problem with Devil’s Advocates.

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Another good article about “emerging adults.” Having read it, I’d say it applies to just about everyone I know up to about 30 years old.

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I am sad to admit that I am just not good at artsy and/or crafty things. I so want to be the wife and mother whose home is cozy and beautiful, filled with handmade decorations (or at least hand-selected items) that work together to create an atmosphere of warmth. It is not to be. My children will never grow up remembering how Mother always had the house cheerfully put together for every season. They will only know mismatched clutter. But they will know love. They will know the warmth of my heart. I hope that is enough to cover all my shortcomings.

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I’ve been reading the Bible more lately. Let me rephrase – I did read the Bible more for a while (I’ve relapsed into not reading like I should), and it is AMAZING how much of what I learned growing up in church does NOT in ANY way correspond to what the Bible says. If you just sit down and read the New Testament straight through, you will be blown away by what Jesus actually says. I plan to post about some of the things I’ve noticed. I need to study more because I don’t want to misrepresent either my beliefs or the Bible (things are already taken out of context way too often), but I am still in shock about how much I didn’t know before. And it’s all so simple – the things Jesus said were always straightforward, and they all came back to love.

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I have to say, my daughter is downright delightful. She is 11 months old today, and I love her more with every passing moment. I cannot thank God enough for her life, and for the gift that she is to me.

We are to love our neighbors as ourselves; we are to imitate Christ who did not come to be served, but to serve.  We are called to serve one another through love.

I hope that I will always seek to serve my brothers and sisters, but how amazing to be able to serve my daughter and my mother in such an amazing capacity.  I may show another love, but it would never be as when I seek to show my mother the love of a daughter.  And whatever labor of love I may undertake for a neighbor, it could never rival the special tasks that only I can accomplish for my daughter. To have hosted the fragile beginnings of her life in my own body, and to nurture her even still – to serve my sister in Christ in this way is a gift from God.

I feel called to pray more in earnest about abortion.  Not just for the babies we lose every day, but also for the mothers who are suffering this loss.  I believe that most women who have abortions truly think that they are aborting a blob, a bean, a mass of cells.  However, I have never met a woman who has had an abortion who does not regret it.  At some point, each of them acknowledges “that was my child,” and they are left with pain and regret.  They are buying a lie, and I pray eyes will be opened before it’s too late.  For women who have already made the choice, I pray they will find forgiveness – it is there in Christ.

I invite anyone who is interested to go to the 40 Days for Life website.  Pray with all of us who have already committed to pray.  Stand vigil if you have time.  By the grace of God, lives can be saved and changed.

Most of us know John 3:16.  I’ve known this verse and this love of God as long as I can remember, but I see it a little differently now.

I always noticed that Jesus was God’s only son.  He sent us his ONLY son.  Wow.  That’s like loving someone SO MUCH that you let them have the ONLY life jacket on a boat that’s going down, but on a MUCH grander scale.  There’s just ONE and He let us have Him.  Amazing!

As a mother, I read that He let us have His Son.  His SON.  It’s so heavy, my breath catches.  There are causes and people I would die for.  I can’t think of a single person I love enough to sacrifice my daughter for.

My God, we don’t deserve this kind of love, but I thank You for it.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, which could be a good thing or not, but it leaves me with a lot I want to write about.  As it stands, I am back to work part-time, at least for this tax season.  My schedule is as follows: Mon – Sat I wake up at 4:30 to nurse Abigail and put her back to sleep.  I leave my house at 5:15 (when I’m running on time), and then I work from 6 AM to noon.  When I leave the office I meet my husband at his workplace to pick up Abigail, and he works the afternoons/evenings.  The great thing about this is that Abigail is not in daycare.  She spends the mornings with her Daddy, and then he brings her to me to nurse and return home. I’m sharing this here now so my tiredness and my sadness about being absent from home will make sense.

Today at work I prayed, “Father, forgive me for failing as a wife and mother.”  I am called to be at home.  And I spend my mornings tending to other people’s business in the form of their tax returns.  I have made a commitment to work this tax season, and therefore I must do it.  My husband and I have budgeted based on this income.  Additionally, I will not abandon my employer (who is also my dad) to the crap storm that is tax season.

I started this season with the attitude that if I must do it, I will do it with joy in my heart.  The source of my joy is our unfailing God, and if I do not continue to lean on Him, I will crumble.  Please pray for me.

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I’ve started using cloth wipes instead of disposables when I’m at home.  They’re so easy to use and I know I’m saving money.  I found a simple recipe for wipes solution – I soak the wipes and store them in a wipe warmer, which I didn’t use with the disposables.  I do want to start with cloth diapers too, but those are a little more expensive to start with, so I will have to gradually build my stash.

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A great place to buy gently used cloth diapers is Diaper Swappers.

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Did any of you who use Blogspot consider WordPress as well?  What made you choose Blogspot?  Just curious.

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Another bad side effect of divorce is multiple Christmas events.  You’d think more would be better, but not in this case.  And since both mine and my husband’s parents are divorced, we have a minimum of 4 Christmases to attend.  It gets quite stressful, and it never really feels like going home.

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Anyone doing any special Christmas baking?  I will be, and though I usually find it exciting, I’m not as pumped as usual this year.  I will really have to fight that feeling because my baking suffers when my mood is less than jolly.

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It’s pouring rain this morning.  I hope it clears up for all the last minute holiday shoppers (which will include me) out and about this weekend!

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Merry Christmas to all!

Abigail’s first Christmas!

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My “guilty pleasures” holiday song is Wham’s “Last Christmas.”  I know, it’s shameful, but I love it!  And apparently so does my daughter – I’ve been playing Christmas music at home, and every time that song comes on she gets excited.  Maybe she’s just excited because that song means I’m about to sing loudly and dance, but I’m going to say it’s the music she likes…

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Speaking of music & the baby – she loves to watch my husband play guitar.  Lately she even bobs her head with the music.  Or so we thought.  I’m pretty sure she’s just following the strum pattern of Drew’s hands with her eyes.

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Has anyone tried Target brand diapers?  I’m thinking of giving store brand diapers a chance to help out with our budget, and I just wonder how they measure up.  Pampers seem to fit Abigail best, but I don’t know if any of the major store brands are modeled after Pampers (as opposed to Huggies, etc.).

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My in-laws are coming to visit this weekend!  They’re arriving today, which means LOTS of last-minute cleaning.  Which means I need to hurry up with my Quick Takes!

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Drew speculates that so many women love Edward from Twilight because his character is both rugged (manly and a little dangerous) and metro.  I think that makes sense; when I was younger I always wanted a cultured country boy – a guy who could go camping or help out with my dad’s cattle, but who would also not be adverse to going to a museum or putting on a suit for whatever reason.  And I haven’t been disappointed!

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It was in the 20s this morning!!!  I hate being chilled to the bone!  I thank God for central heating and pray sincerely for all those without!

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Hope y’all have a great weekend!  Stay warm!